Anytime I feel like I’m breaking down, I have to break down what’s behind it. What I believe first and foremost that lies behind any illness, breakdown, or trial in life is the simple fact that we’re human; we’re incredibly fallible whether we want to admit that to ourselves or not, whether our ego can handle that fact or not. It doesn’t really matter if we can accept the facts, what matters is whether we can cope with life as it’s dealt to us, and execute our response to it’s adversities properly, per the way nature intended. Truth be told, at various points in our lives, most of us can’t and we break under the pressure. Another truth: It’s ok to break down, it’s part of being human!
I believe that to be human is to be fallible. I’ve proven it to myself time and time again, I’ve seen it in others, and in the end we come out of it alright if we allow nature to take its course. It’s only our egos that tell us otherwise, and present the false illusion of who we are based on how we feel others perceive us, then tell us we must adhere to that illusion. It honestly makes it easier to synthesize the traumas we endure, be they physical, emotional, mental or spiritual, and their impending effects when I look at myself and those around me simply as over-intelligent, survival-based creatures. We are far from the overly stimulated, over-worked, under appreciated, perfection-obsessed, stoic machines we insist we are cut out to be. We need to process, we need to feel, we need to emote.
We live in a day and age where we readily force ourselves to operate at mach speed in the world outside of us in order to distract ourselves from what’s really going on inside. We don’t take good loving care of ourselves, time is just a construct meant to be whipped through as fast as possible out of the self-imposed necessity of what we see as productivity in our world around us, with no regard for the world within us. And for whatever reason we blindly accept this without ever slowing down and allowing ourselves the space to reconcile the daily influx of life. We deny our most primal processes then wonder why we get sick, feel fundamentally void in some ways, or why we feel the need to medicate in a vain attempt to cope.
Trauma is a process that we need to allow to run its course so we can move on and be able to live from our essence, who we really are underneath the ego so that when we are challenged in the future, we can act instead of react to whatever we face. So that we can be mindful and let go instead of being mindless and controlling. You can’t control everything that happens in life, but you can control how you react to it. Stop stifling the subtle voice coming from deep down inside that wants you to know that its ok to feel feelings and move forward a better person for having had the experience, and gaining the wisdom from it. Trauma-based acumen is real, ego is false. Not much goodness in life comes without the hard work to gain it.
Have you ever seen an animal that’s been startled by something? It reacts instinctually by entering into fight or flight mode, assesses the potential danger and either acts out of instinct for survival, or retreats realizing the perceived danger is not actually imminent. No matter the outcome, once an animal has been triggered, when the threat is over it shakes. This is a natural bodily function innate to both animals and humans, to help process and release the trauma of the scare. Humans, if we allowed ourselves to, should and could react in the same manner thereby relieving the trauma of the incident and moving on. We all know we shake when we’ve been startled but we tell ourselves it’s not ok, its a sign of weakness, so we suppress it and any of the other innate reactions we should be allowing ourselves to experience. Our ego as well as societal stigma tell us to absorb the reactions and the trauma, shove it down, and proceed with caution. We then carry on through life as damaged goods, having stored incident after incident’s worth of trauma in our minds, bodies, egos, and spirits, which severely inhibits our natural right to live free of fear.
That’s not to say there is no such thing as healthy caution, boundaries or self preservation. Those are inborn elements to a healthy relationship with the world around us. But when we refuse to properly process our traumas they create layers of fear within that hinder us from staying grounded and operating from the true nature of who we are, which, again, is to be free of fear. We have to be smarter than our fear and our egos. We have to break through the lies we’ve been told or we tell ourselves that keep us imprisoned by fear and judgement. Things like it’s not ok for a man to cry, it’s not ok to ask for help, it’s not ok to admit you’ve been affected, it’s not ok to fail, or it’s not ok to be afraid. I’ll put it this way — how is there light without there also being darkness? How is the light supposed to shine through if its consistently enshrouded in the darkness?
Circling back to the fact of the essential nature of our existence, we’re only human. A good place to begin is to stop expecting yourself to absorb it all and press on trepidatious. Stop telling yourself you can’t or don’t deserve to be free of fear. Enable yourself to raise your vibration and ease the heavy of life by allowing yourself to be human and work through your trials. By doing so you’re not only healing yourself and creating space in your life for freedom and happiness, you’re creating the space for others around you to do the same. Leading by example, showing the world exactly how basic of creatures we are at our core, and that healing isn’t as far-fetched of a concept as we perceive it to be, and that self-actualization is attainable.
The sooner we quit fooling ourselves the sooner we can live freer and easier. The closer we get to being at peace with ourselves and the world as it is whether it presents us fear or confidence, good or bad, happy or sad. As one of my favorite personal anthems goes “There’s a beautiful way of being that allows one to stay rooted and present in the moment, comfortable and calm. Your thoughts and your feelings are energy. The more we can utilize this energy to generate feelings that feel good, the more easy and harmonious or lives become”. It’s so simple yet we choose to make it so complicated. It is being free of fear, it is the true essence of our being as humans. Who doesn’t want that??
Peace, love, and wellness.